A Charlie Brown Christmas

September 9, 2011 § Leave a comment

The possession of a time machine certainly presents a myriad of opportunities for its owner. One could feasibly acquire great quantities of wealth, stop a national disaster, or advise one’s past self on a more prudent course of action. However, if presented with the opportunity, my advent into the past would boast a far less grandiose adventure. Enter: the tragedy of last Christmas…As a fairly punctual household, my family rarely falls victim to procrastination. But when it comes to Holiday decorating, our collective punctuality reaches new zealous heights. We have always been the first of our less enthusiastic neighbors to carve Halloween pumpkins, hang Christmas lights, and hide Easter eggs. As such, I never suspected the debacle which ensued last Christmas. For some inexplicable reason, hitherto unknown to me, this past year the Dugan family found itself sans Christmas tree on the Eve of December the 25th.  When we finally realized this grave oversight, considerable panic sieged our ranks. Rushing to the family car, we sped hurriedly to the Home Depot in hopes of securing a tree. But alas, upon arrival it became painfully clear that our tardiness had landed us in a position more terrible than anything we could have imagined. In the nursery of the hardware store lay not one measly tree. The horror of our situation led to several exasperated phone calls with local suppliers, all returning similarly despondent news. But when all hope seemed lost, a beacon of light (originating from a Lowe’s hardware street lamp) beamed down upon us pitiful and treeless plebs. In the recesses of the store lay four mangled trees. The supply was scanty, the trees short and bent, but the smell of evergreen could not have been more divine. Despite our obvious relief, the decidedly un-majestic display of our tree that year was no small embarrassment. Multiple boxes were required to boost our poor tree to a respectable height. And nearly half of our usual garlands and ornaments lay un-moved in storage boxes due to the sheer lack of decorating space on our pathetic shrubbery. Needless to say, it was a Charlie Brown Christmas at the Dugan household this year..

Thus, if given a time machine, my first voyage into yonder years would be to remedy the fiasco of last Christmas. I would heartily urge my daft self to seek out a tree earlier in the season, such that our sorry episode might be avoided. But alas, the calamity of the tree remains intact, and the lessons acquired still prominently feature in my mind. If anything, last winter taught me firsthand the great college maxim of procrastination.  It never behooves one to put off tomorrow what should really be done today. And laziness, for whatever end, is always worse lamented when its consequence is a three-foot tall tree…


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