A Means to an End

September 9, 2011 § Leave a comment

Ever since I saw Back to the Future for the first time, my dream car has been the modified Dolorean that can take you to any location in time.  I wish I had a magic phone booth like Bill and Ted that could carry me across that fourth dimension into the past or the future.  Hell, I’d even go for a Time Turner, even though it’s tiny and takes a lot of spinning to send you any great distance into the past.  But the great question isn’t how I could get a time machine: it’s what I would do with it.

One concept that has existed for a while is the ability for a less-than-scrupulous person to come into possession of a time machine, travel into the future to obtain important information, and then come back to the present to bet on things like sports and events, or invest in stock.  Since said person would know every result, he would make a vast amount of money off of bets and live like a king for the rest of his life.  Now, don’t be too hasty to judge me, but I do believe that that is indeed the best way a time machine can be used, and if I were to obtain a time machine, I would do the very same.  At least up through the betting part.

After I have made a huge fortune from my “uncanny knack” for betting or investing, I would diverge from the path of immorality.  After all, the casino as an institution is immoral in itself, profiting off the human sweet tooth for a good competition with tangible stakes.  Casinos don’t put these massive profits to any use except for making the casino owners incredibly wealthy and perhaps expanding on the casino, adding in more slots, more blackjack tables, more invitations to step right up and hand over your money to the man in the tuxedo watching your every move on a hidden camera.  As for investing, it’s essentially professional gambling, and again, much of the money accumulated by successful stock brokers or investors is placed right into their fat pockets.

Instead of padded my own fortune, I would use the money to finance causes that benefit the world at large.  You need money to acquire clean drinking water and prevent AIDS, Africa?  I can back that.  Solar power and hydrogen fuel cell research is too expensive to pursue?  Not for me and my billions of dollars.  Americans in poverty and unemployed?  I’ll send you to school and then start a company where you all can work, be productive, and rise up the social hierarchy.  Keep in mind, it’s not me who’s really providing the cash, but those generous casino men, with the help of a time machine.

If that’s the means necessary to reach my unselfish end, I’ll take it.

-Zach Blumenfeld

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