How I Met the T-Rex

September 16, 2011 § 1 Comment

It was bound to happen.  With all these stories of dinosaurs, time travel, and paradoxes, my dreams could only remain untainted for so long.

It all started in a quaint little town—we were on vacation at some high-rise hotel, and I was looking out the window.  Or more precisely, I saw myself looking out the window.  We decided it was time to relax a bit, go out on the town and see what we might find.  Hardly any cars were there, and I was grateful.  Everything had a certain serenity, like an empty but familiar path home.

But then we reached downtown.  Part of a being a quaint town means there’s no real loud parties, or screaming dance clubs, or even any sort of hard music blaring down the streets.  Instead, performers and magicians lined the streets, this one playing an accordion, that one dancing with a monkey.  The air lay warm around us all, and though a good number of people milled about, we did not suffocate in the crowd.  But all of this soon disappeared as my conscious thoughts fell upon one lady in particular.

I don’t even remember what she looked like, but she smiled a huge smile and invited me up on her wooden cart.  I can’t say whether she was actually large, but now I feel she must have been, for I think she had all the qualities of one of those women you read about in children’s stories who gives everyone big hugs and bowls of soup.  Before she invited me up, she had been playing quite a dancing tune on her banjo.

Then things began to get complicated.  Somehow or other, she let me in on the secret that her wooden cart was a time machine, and so back we went to the cretaceous.  Feeling like such a little boy again on an adventure, where else would we have gone?

We arrived in a jungle, and found ourselves surrounded by a crowd of natives.  They seemed friendly enough, so off we went with them through the trees.  We even wandered through a nice building with a high ceiling and large glass windows, like the lobby of some welcome center before a famous hiking trail.  Continuing on to the other side, we soon left, but as we went I had a growing sense of unease.

That’s when I decided to warn myself of the impending tyrannosaurus attack.  I snuck out of the bushes, approached myself, and whispered the warning.  Then off I went again, leaving the other me quite gripped by terror.  I started ducking behind trees and trying to ease my way out of the crowd of natives, but as soon as I did, I regretted it.  Being alone in a dinosaur jungle is no pleasant situation, except possibly for the most courageous.

The building was easy to find, but my other self had been a little late in warning me.  I heard the loud thump of the beast outside, and when I looked I found his legs directly on the other side of the big glass windows.  He must have heard me enter the building, for I had been rather noisy in my retreat once I got away from the others.  I tiptoed through the hallways, and when I reached the entrance peered outside.  Trees, trees, and more trees, but no t-rex.  I, however, did not breathe a sigh of relief and walk right out there, for I would have been eaten.  No, the t-rex is too smart of a hunter, too patient.  He was out there, lurking.  Though how such a giant could lurk is beyond me.

Fortunately for me, though perhaps unfortunately for some, a commotion then broke out.  It seemed that many of the natives had noticed my absence, and were coming back to where they had found me originally.  Some were in the building all ready and others had gone around to the other side.  They found the monster.

The battle cry of the t-rex ripped right through the jungle and the walls of the building, and his smorgasbord began.

This was my chance.  I ran outside into the woods toward the time-traveling cart.  Teeth tore through the trees in front of my as the beast searched for his prey, and then he saw me.

I still don’t know how it happened, but I know that I only barely made it.  With the jaws closing in fast, I found myself seated on the cart.  I threw the switch with all my might and everything vanished.  Just like that I was back in the town.  That’s when I realized the awful truth.

If I didn’t dare to return, I would never have warned myself of the impending danger, and I would have surely died.  With great reluctance, I got back up into the cart.  There was no telling if I would make it back alive again.

Then I woke up.

Rivus

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