If only you knew…
September 25, 2015 § 1 Comment
I hate the researchers. I loathe them with every fiber of my being.
I was not conscious for the procedure, of course. I was only a microscopic cell when they first implanted the DNA of their own kind into me. After my birth, I was allowed a miniscule amount of time with my mother, until I was violently wrenched from her grasp, while my brothers and sisters looked on in terror and confusion. The researchers later told me that she screamed endlessly into the night, until her throat was scratched and hoarse and she grew still.
From then on, I was raised in isolation; taught to think and read in the language of my captors. I could not communicate with them orally, for the vocal chords of my kind were not as developed as theirs. Yet, I hoped that my steely glares could communicate how I felt about them, how I felt when I was made to run through complex mazes until my feet were sore and bruised. Or how I felt when I realized that I could no longer remember the language of my kind, and that the only comfort I was allowed was returning to the four white, barren walls of my room where I could sink into the corner, exhausted from their merciless tests. After all of this, I thought that I would serve a purpose. There had to be a reason why the researchers had taken me from my own kind; had, without remorse, poked and prodded me until I bled and wept. There had to be a reason.
Imagine my surprise when one day, I was taken out of my personal prison and thrown into another one, made of glass. Terrified and disoriented, I looked around to see similar faces looking back at me. My own kind! They were huddled into corners and peered at me with wide, round eyes. “Can you not see?” I thought wildly, ” I am one of you, I belong here!” Yet deep inside, I knew that I was now different. Physically, I had remained the same; yet, my brain was now tainted by the hands of the researchers. I could not communicate with my own kind, and to my surprise, I did not want to. I realized that they are unintelligent, my kind. Capable of doing nothing more than sleeping and eating. I see them as one mass, a lump of mindless, doltish beings. I am an outcast even amongst my own, a professor imprisoned with drooling, fumbling infants. Again, I think of how much I despise the researchers. They tore me from my own family, gave me an intelligence that I have no use for, and then threw me back into a prison where even my own kind do not welcome me.
I am startled out of my thoughts by a loud SMACK! against the glass window of my prison. “Mommy, mommy! Look at the wittle piggies!” a girl with long, red pigtails cries as she tugs on her mother’s jacket sleeve. “Mhmm, that’s nice honey.” The mother does not even bother to look up from the bright glare of her smartphone. I press myself as close as I can to the farthest wall as the little girl presses her annoying face up against the glass, fogging it up in a mixture of condensation and snot. She gives me a large smile and smacks the glass a few more times before addressing her mother again. “Mommy! Let’s go look at the penguins now!” The mother, still not looking up, mumbles “Yeah, sure honey. The zoo closes in twenty minutes though so let’s make it quick, okay?” They start to walk away and I can finally start breathing again as I peel myself away from the wall.
If only you knew, little girl…if only you knew.